Johnny stumbled, tripped off the curb into the street. He was considerably drunk; a fifth of Jameson at the last place, God knows before that. The box was still in the middle off the road, still glowing. The air around it smelled like burnt caramel, burning hair. Johnny's shoes got goopy as he staggered each step closer. He was chuckling to himself, remembering what he had just seen. The box glowed brighter as Johnny approached. Johnny bent down, tried to swat at the box but missed and lost...
3 months ago • 1 min read
I've decided to make massive changes and improvements to my life! But, I don't know what those improvements should be! What should I do? Oh, I know! I'll start eating better! But then what? What should I do? Oh, I know! I'll start running more! But then what? What should I do? Oh, I know! I'll stop watching TV! But then what? What should I do? Oh, I know! I'll stop using social media! But then what? What should I do? Oh, I know! I'll start meditating again! But then what? What should I do?...
3 months ago • 2 min read
Sam looked over at Todd; drumming his fingers softly against his keyboard as he scrolled through a long body of text on his laptop. Sam was infuriated at Todd for no real reason, just for existing, but tried not to let it show. "What 'chu reading now?" Sam asked, his voice overly monotone as he hyper-focused on trying to sound natural. "Ah, some guy on Reddit thinks that ultra runners should celebrate winning a race by drinking a beer out of one of their shoes that they ran the race in," Todd...
3 months ago • 2 min read
Frank walked in, sat down. Sue walked over, said hey Frank. Hey Sue. Whaddya havin'? Lemme get a coffee, two eggs, three bacon, two turkey sausage links, two pieces of whole wheat toast, half a grapefruit, a short stack of chocolate chip pancakes, small orange juice, hash browns, home fries, a regular sausage patty, half a turkey club, a full reuben, a pastrami on rye, a bowl of tomato soup, a cup of italian wedding soup, fries, waffle fries, curly fries, disco fries, pizza fries, taco fries,...
4 months ago • 1 min read
"Yeah, no no, I've been holding, I've been holding for an hour already—fine. Fine," David was used to this. The customer service maze as soon as they realized who he was. David Glinecki. Special customer number 3217. Lifetime supply winner from the 1992 game show "Hold the Duck!" He came in second place, first place was a trip to Aruba, valued at $5,500. David had turned his lifetime supply of gum into over $750,000 so far. Contract stipulated the new-at-the-time "Berry Boatful" flavor....
4 months ago • 2 min read
A man approaches you, grabs you by the arm, you feel paralyzed, can't move, he puts his hand out, a small revolver, holds it towards you, waits, waits, you grab it reluctantly, the weight drags you down by the hand, he takes out a photograph of an old man, says in twenty minutes he'll walk out of that building, he points at the building, says you take care of him or we'll take care of your kid, your eyes grow, you start saying what the fuck who are you what the, he reaches into his coat...
4 months ago • 1 min read
let's get taco bell just tonight just cuz today was tough just cuz it's late now just cuz i'm too tired to cook just cuz just cuz just cus i can run tomorrow tomorrow i can run tomorrow big run gonna run so far gonna have a great day gonna wake up early gonna run to another country gonna run until my legs rip off gonna start tomorrow tomorrow but now what do you want? yes i'm getting a baja too what did i get last week? oh right soft potato taco soft potato taco soft potato taco they have...
5 months ago • 1 min read
The television floats just above the entertainment stand, hovering perfectly without any waver or wobble. The soft blue glow aloft in the air, illuminating the room. Hitting Derek in his stupid fucking face, asleep on the couch again. Can you believe this? This fucking guy. Some fucking old guy is on the tele. Dark grey hair, stupid salt and pepper mustache. A chyron on the screen reads "Douglas Hochmann - Borneo CTO" He talks: And that's what a lot of folks don't understand. It's not a...
5 months ago • 1 min read
Grounded 2025/06/21 "Give it another go," the attendant half-shouted. Larry nodded, pushed the launch button. Nothing. "Still nothin'," Larry said, his head slightly leaned out the window. "Alright turn 'er off and let me take a look," the attendant said as he grabbed a flashlight from his tool belt and clicked it on. Larry clicked the power button and his vehicle turned off. The attendant entered the steps next to the bay Larry's car was in, descended down and looked at the underside of the...
6 months ago • 3 min read
