Grounded2025/06/21
"Give it another go," the attendant half-shouted. Larry nodded, pushed the launch button. Nothing. "Still nothin'," Larry said, his head slightly leaned out the window. "Alright turn 'er off and let me take a look," the attendant said as he grabbed a flashlight from his tool belt and clicked it on. Larry clicked the power button and his vehicle turned off. The attendant entered the steps next to the bay Larry's car was in, descended down and looked at the underside of the vehicle. Larry breathed deep. He glanced at his watch, work began five minutes ago. He was ten minutes away from the office, if his car would get off the ground. The attendant was saying something to himself that Larry couldn't make out. After what felt like hours, he walked back up the stairs. "Your vertical upkicker is shot to hell, piston arm's hydraulics are all—well it ain't workin'. You ain't takin' off in this thing today." Larry exhaled forcefully. "Okay, okay. So, uhh, so what do I do?" The attendant grabbed a rag from his pocket and wiped his hands, "Yeah we'll take this into the shop, we probably got a loaner AirSki that you can take.' "An AirSki? I'm late for work, I'll look like I just came outta a wind tunnel." "Look man, this bird ain't flyin' today. If you wanna arrange your own travel be my guest." Larry clenched the steering wheel, gritted his teeth. He looked at his watch, eleven minutes late now. Filed Under: Fiction
Higher Being2025/06/21
"JORGE!" the doctor shouted again and looked back behind himself down the metal-grate walkway. Jorge, a small teenager was carrying two five-gallon buckets, one in each hand, and trotting down from the other end as fast as he could. Dr. Lodziuk turned back and finished working on the control deck. "We don't have much time my boy, the moon is in the right alignment and the brew is finished! It is time!" Jorge reached the platform the doctor was working on; twenty-foot girders at each corner wrapped top to bottom in wires, some of which were pulled across between beams to wrap the area in a rough square. A metal stair set and handrail were constructed next to a large metal egg-shaped structure. "I brought the last two buckets, doctor L," Jorge said as he gently placed the two buckets next to the others around the outside of the work area. "Good, good! It's finally ready," the doctor said as he climbed up the stairs and pushed a button on the side of the metal egg. A loud motor fired up and the top of the egg slowly lifted upward, revealing an inner cavity roughly the size of a human. "Jorge, start filling the tank! I'm going to get ready. We're on the brink of history my boy! Think of all we will be able to achieve once we have unlimited energy!" Jorge grabbed two buckets by the handles and walked down to the corner of the work area, a large funnel was inserted into the floor with pipeworks going down into a large mixing vat seated below the working area. Jorge put one bucket down and carefully poured the other down the funnel. He did this with each bucket, sixteen in total. Dr. Lodziuk stood at the top of the stairset, now fully nude and slathered in what looked like petroleum jelly. Jorge looked at the doctor after pouring down the last bucket, and gave him a thumbs up. "This is it, Jorge! I will become an unstoppable force of pure energy, I will live forever!" Dr. Lodziuk climbed into the inner egg cavity and pressed a few buttons inside the egg, the top slowly closed down and then sealed shut. Jorge jogged down the walkway to the blast shield and crouched behind it. A table with a headset and small control panel was behind the shield. He picked up the headset and put it on. "Doctor, doctor can you hear me?" "I can my boy, I can hear you loud and clear. I am ready. I will be the first human to convert himself into a higher being, a new world awaits me! Thank you for your help, Jorge. Now, on my mark..." Jorge flipped up the safety guard on the control panel, his hand hovering over the large red button. "Five...four...three...two...one...ENERGY!" Dr. Lodziuk shouted from inside the egg, inside the headset, inside Jorge's brain. Jorge pressed the large red button. The metal egg across the warehouse exploded completely, entirely. The explosion deafened Jorge's ears. No remains of the doctor were ever recovered. Please consider making a contribution to my Patreon if you enjoy these weird stories and are able to support them financially. No Happy Nonsense is 100% ad free and your donation helps keep it that way. |
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