"Yeah, no no, I've been holding, I've been holding for an hour already—fine. Fine," David was used to this. The customer service maze as soon as they realized who he was.

David Glinecki. Special customer number 3217. Lifetime supply winner from the 1992 game show "Hold the Duck!" He came in second place, first place was a trip to Aruba, valued at $5,500.

David had turned his lifetime supply of gum into over $750,000 so far. Contract stipulated the new-at-the-time "Berry Boatful" flavor. Flavor was discontinued in 2001. David sued the company when they tried to give him a different flavor. The judge ruled in his favor. So they brought the flavor back. But it sold like shit. So now they just run it once a month for him, an entire eight hour shift, all for David Glinecki, special customer number 3217.

10,000 cases once a month of out of production gum, all for David Glinecki. He had an online store for a number of years, but there was too much legwork. Shipping small orders every day, chasing down payments, issuing refunds, debating refusals.

Now he sells all 10k cases to one of a few customers, rotated by month. He doesn't ask what they do with it. He just sells the stuff.

And when a shipment doesn't arrive, he calls customer service. They give him the run-around for a few hours. But he always ends up getting his gum.

And when a shipment doesn't arrive, he calls customer service. They give him the run-around for a few hours. But he always ends up getting his gum.

And when a shipment doesn't arrive arrive arrive, he calls them, calls the number, calls the robots the humans the robots the humans, calls them on the phone his phone to there phone his voice to their ear their voice to his ear the soft hum of the hold music interspersed with reminders to chew more gum more gum more gum but not Berry Boatful Berry Boatful doesn't exist it's out of production we brought it back but nobody wanted it but somebody wanted it somebody wants it every month and there's David holding the phone to his ear just listening and waiting and imagining how much fun Aruba must've been and how good he has it because he never saw those sandy beaches all them years ago and the phone clicks in and hello hello hello this is Mary-Beth hello Mary-Beth this is David Glinecki yes Mr. Glinecki how may I help you and on and on and on we go round and round the lines and the ears and the voices and the soft hum comes back because David is waiting again but he can wait all day he can wait a thousand days he's got nothing to do but wait for his gum because he is alive and he is owed this and the phone clicks again hello hello hello.

Hello?

Hello?

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