Number 3 Special
Frank walked in, sat down. Sue walked over, said hey Frank. Hey Sue. Whaddya havin'? Lemme get a coffee, two eggs, three bacon, two turkey sausage links, two pieces of whole wheat toast, half a grapefruit, a short stack of chocolate chip pancakes, small orange juice, hash browns, home fries, a regular sausage patty, half a turkey club, a full reuben, a pastrami on rye, a bowl of tomato soup, a cup of italian wedding soup, fries, waffle fries, curly fries, disco fries, pizza fries, taco fries, an order of fish and chips, a western omelet, a chicken burrito, a hamburger, a cheeseburger, two slices of pepperoni, a stromboli, a calzone, you guys got uhh, what are they called, uhh, sour patch kids? I'll take a family size bag of those, a corn soufflé, a couple a' tamales, a big chicken pot pie, a small shepherd's pie, a spinach quesadilla, a falafel platter with hummus, two cokes, a mountain dew, five or six chicken fingers, a cheese steak, sausage and peppers, a chicken parm sandwich, and a black and white milkshake. Peg looked up from her notepad, we're out of coffee. Frank stood up, said forget about it then. Please consider making a contribution to my Patreon if you enjoy these weird stories and are able to support them financially. No Happy Nonsense is 100% ad free and your donation helps keep it that way. |
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You live in the Death Pit. You always have. The walls are tall. The top is open. You know this because rain floods the pit. Most can't swim. You can't see any light above. You live against the wall. You tried to walk the entire inner circumference. Weren't able to. No one has ever made it. The people above throw things. Rocks, rotten food, fire. You live in fear of the above. The elders say they aren't the first elders. They don't know why any of you are in the pit. The people above never...
Johnny stumbled, tripped off the curb into the street. He was considerably drunk; a fifth of Jameson at the last place, God knows before that. The box was still in the middle off the road, still glowing. The air around it smelled like burnt caramel, burning hair. Johnny's shoes got goopy as he staggered each step closer. He was chuckling to himself, remembering what he had just seen. The box glowed brighter as Johnny approached. Johnny bent down, tried to swat at the box but missed and lost...
I've decided to make massive changes and improvements to my life! But, I don't know what those improvements should be! What should I do? Oh, I know! I'll start eating better! But then what? What should I do? Oh, I know! I'll start running more! But then what? What should I do? Oh, I know! I'll stop watching TV! But then what? What should I do? Oh, I know! I'll stop using social media! But then what? What should I do? Oh, I know! I'll start meditating again! But then what? What should I do?...